


Fanfic Tropes: The Inheritance

by StolenMidnightKisses



Series: Fanfic Tropes [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Harry inherits like 300 titles, Inheritance, Like honestly what is with this fanfic trope?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-02 05:17:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18804484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StolenMidnightKisses/pseuds/StolenMidnightKisses
Summary: Harry stood and stared at the goblins gathered in front of him."I... ugh what?"The goblin to his left sighed. "I said, that you are Lord Potter-Black-Peverell-Gryffindor-Slytherin-Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff-Malfoy-Dumbledore-Merlin-Add a few more names-God this doesn't end-Yawns."Harry nodded dumbly. "Righhhht."In other words, I'm exploring the overly cliched fanfic trope of Harry getting way too many titles and adding my own twist on it.





	1. Chapter 1

All Harry had wanted to do was go to Gringotts to get some money to buy his 4th year books. But of course, it didn't work that way for Harry. Nothing ever did. 

Right now he was sitting in front of one of the ugliest looking Goblins Harry had ever seen, and Harry had seen a  _lot_ of ugly Goblins in his life, and was feeling a little lost as the Goblin stood on its chair and stared down at the massive pile of parchments below it, sorting through them with such speed that Harry could only stare at said Goblin whilst feeling distinctly out of place and uncomfortable. The Goblins mumbling shook him out of his befuddled daze.

"Huh, neat, you inherited this from that person...and that person inherited that, so...and according to this old contract you're entitled to this...the court judgment against the Death Eaters entitles you to that...wow, that's been accumulating interest all this time?! And umm how many bequests?" The Goblin suddenly looked up at him. "Er, Mr. Potter, this might take a while to sort out, could you come back later today?"

Said boy stood up and nodded dumbly, eyebrows somewhere in the vicinity of his upper forehead. "I ugh yeah, I'll just go buy some ice cream yeah?"

The Goblin didn't reply, muttering something about compound interest and why oh why had the Gringotts bank never invested in some Muggle calculators?

-0-

Three hours later, Harry found himself surrounded by a group of Goblins, who pushed him into a small, dark room and shut the door. Harry stood in the dark for a moment, eyes wide and feeling vaguely terrified before one of the Goblins clicked his fingers and the room illuminated itself. 

"Right ughhh," the Goblin Harry was talking to earlier started. "Lord Potter-Black-Malfoy-Lupin-Death-Merlin-Peverell-Gryffindor-Slytherin-Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff-Dumbledore-Weasley-Prewett I thi-"

"Wait what." Harry interrupted bewildered. 

The Goblin paused, drew a deep breath and said "Lord Potter-Black-Malfoy-Lupin-Death- ughh...." The Goblin next to him whispered in his ear "Peverell-Gryffindor-Slytherin ... oh Merlin, I give up this is impossible!" Harry felt rather inclined to agree. "What I was trying to say is that we did a thorough review of your vaults and we are delighted to say that you-" The Goblin took a deep breath and looked at a little slip of paper in his hand and said "have 387339986193004729 galleons no wait was it 387359298283893929 galleons? Agh anyway, you also have 262992743894 sickles and something along the lines of 8723482929 knuts but quite honestly some of those calculations were really out of date and at the end of all that interest I'm pretty sure I messed up somewhere in the trillions."

Harry continued to stare at the Goblin confused, as the goblin to the far left of him scurried up to the Goblin speaking to Harry and said something in his ear. The Goblin paled. "But I just added the interest!" The goblin muttered something in his ear again. "At a rate of 26378% a second?!" The Goblin speaking to his ear nodded.

The Goblin Harry was speaking to collapsed in his chair and whispered "You know what, I give up, I just can't, I won't, that rate is ridiculous, all those calculations! And I'll have to do them _every second_ to keep up!"

The Goblin stood up suddenly and Harry took a healthy step back as the Goblin threw up his arms and said "You know what, I retire." and stormed out of the room.

Harry looked up at the remaining Goblins, eyes wide as they stared back at him. "You know what?" Harry started, and cleared his throat, "Umm, I'll just go get myself more ice cream, yeah?"

And as he walked (nope, he didn't run, not at all, not even a bit) out of Gringotts he vowed never, ever to go back again.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Some outtakes I thought to share:

 

Harry and Malfoy stood, glaring at each other at the end of the room.

"This isn't the last you'll hear from me, Po-" Malfoy stopped, frowned, and then sighed. "It really doesn't have the same ring if I say Lord Potter-Black-Malfoy-Lupin-Death-Merlin-Peverell-Gryffindor-Slytherin-Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff-Dumbledore-Weasley-Prewett does it?"

Harry felt inclined to agree.

 

-0-

Professor McGonagall looked at Harry from the tops of her glasses. And then sighed. "Have a biscuit Mr Potter-Black-Malfoy-Lupin-Death-Merlin-Peverell-Gryffindor-Slytherin-Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff-Dumbledore-Weasley-Prewett."

By the time she reached to the end, Harry had already finished his first biscuit and had reached for his second,

-0-

Voldemort stood across from him, and all the screams faded from the distance.

Harry was in a small clearing in the Forbidden Forest and knew he was about to die.

Voldemorts cold, high voice filled the clearing "So we meet again Mr Potter-Black-Malfoy-Lupin-Death-Merlin-Peverell-Gryffindor-Slytherin-Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff-Dumbledore-Weasley-Prewett."

Harry inclined his head, ever the gentlemen, and replied back "It seems so Mr Riddle."

Voldemort frowned "It just doesn't sound that intimidating when you say it like that, does it?"

"Has to be all the names."

"I never did understand why you got Slytherin and not me."

"And I'll never know why you memorized all my names but here we are."

"Here we are indeed, Mr Potter-Black-Malfoy-Lupin-Death-Merlin-Peverell-Gryffindor-Slytherin-Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff-Dumbledore-Weasley-Prewett" Voldemort winced. "It just really doesn't sound good compared to mine. I feel inferior."


End file.
